I'm actually wondering if you, too, will be lured away from EQ and to Star Wars. I'm counting my friends who're being sucked away from other 'porgs to SW:G. 3 currently, 2 more on the fence. I don't play any, so I can just be amused.
Highly unlikely. I have no interest in SW:G - Up to this point, merlin has only expressed interest in terms of 'I'm curious what they're doing with the game construction'. I think we're unlikely to take up another game like this - We're not ready to quit EQ yet, we're just pissed off about last night.
Me, I'm a little tempted by SW:G, given that crafting is a viable career (and, in fact, a necessary one, since there are no NPC vendors), potentially freeing one from the logical equivalent of Qeynos snake hunting.
As to Star Wars, I have a friend in beta that really enjoyed it. However, everyone and everything else I have heard isn't encouraging. I'm still playing EQ, but think I will be quitting when EQ2 comes out. We'll see.
I probably shouldn't be airing this in public, but I went ahead and posted so I won't keep everyone waiting.
Let me explain--and bear in mind that at least one person in the group (aside from my wife, of course) reads this journal, so I'm taking pains to try to write this objectively, but it is indelibly my subjective viewpoint.
The Monday Night Group is made up of 6 people, 3 male and 3 female who get together and play this set of characters roughly once a week (we occasionally have to skip due to real life reasons, but it's pretty regular) and have done so for more than 3 years now. I'm not entirely sure exactly how long it's been--I think we may be close to 4 years, but I don't have a good feeling for what year we started doing this anymore.
Two of those members are esmerel and me. We have an advantage that we can talk to each other while we're playing, so we tend to end up with the same or similar opinions on topics.
Of the other four, they are now all easterly. One of them is a former housemate, who moved to the midwest, and another was local but moved to the east. I suspect the shift in timezones is part of the strain on some people.
Now then, I will go through the problems with the group that have been eating at me for some time, and I've been hoping to find ways to resolve them but I've been loathe to speak up too much about it because when I think to do it, I'm usually in a somewhat angry mood and I don't want to be any more bitchy than I already am. Which is, I realize, not effective.
I'll leave out the names of the players, tho some of them will be easily identified I suspect.
Player A and I share kind of a leadership role. Player A is well-respected, and I'm a little bit more aggressive in terms of making decisions. The two of us sometimes despair, because the rest of the group seems a little unwilling to actually express opinions (often they simply don't have opinions), generally on matters of "where should we play next week?" and "What kinds of equipment should we be buying with our loot?" (I run a 'master loot' system where I loot everything and keep track of the group's funds. Right now we're actually relatively wealthy because I've spent /nothing/ for 6 months). I'll get back to Player A later--player A is my primary gripe.
Player B is a very good player with a lot of EQ experience. Player B was a member of a high level raiding guild with other characters, and has seen a lot more of the high end of the game than I have. Player B also discovered Everquest's windowing system when it became available, and shortly thereafter I started noticing that Player B's entry into combat was starting to get delayed. Player B also has some RL distractions that might account for it--but there has been some level of frustration where player B will basically just disappear. Some combats player B won't even engage in until it's almost over. While this doesn't really cost us anything, I find myself frustrated that Player B is just standing there; it's even worse when the group has to move somewhere, and we have ot wait a couple of minutes for Player B to realize that the group is doing something. I've mentioned this a couple of times to Player B, but I admit never very directly, because I haven't felt like I have quite the moral high ground. The fact that I've not been direct about it has made me basically bite my tongue when I want to gripe about it, because I don't want to be passive aggressive. Of course, I'm doing that right now. Anyway.
(continued) Player C has become uncommunicative. Player C disappeared for 3 weeks and did not even tell us; then Player C emailed the group list and was surprised that we didn't know. Player C has always had an issue with being on time, seeming to be of the feeling that since *someone* is going to be late, it is a waste of Player C's time to show up on time. This leads, IMO, to more lateness and, in fact, I don't think we have ever started on time in the last couple of years. Player C also seems to have an issue with communicating at all; recently, Player B logged in and said something over the channel. I updated the current situation (as PB was quite late) and got no response. I shrugged and went on with what we were doing. There was some question about what the group was going to do that evening; Player B decided to wait (a zone away--roughly 5 minutes worth of trip) to see what we would do, without telling us. When we had finally decided that we were not actually going to move and would adventure where we were, Player D asked if I was going to tell Player C. TUrned out player C and D had been communicating about plans in private. This irritated me to no end.
Player D is a very nice person. Player D has some real life issues that are causing Player D to be very late--a lot. We've become accustomed to it, and we know that Player D might not show. But we also know that it's an RL issue and there's nothing to be done about it, so we live with it. I hold Player D no blame, but it can be a little frustrating. Also, Player D could get lost in a 10x10 room with only 1 door. That part is more amusing than anything, but there can be bits of frustration involved when it happens at a bad time. I ended up in a fight because player D got lost, player B was idle, player C wasn't around, and player A had gone off to try to find player D and my invisibility spell wore off. It ended up ok, but had me pretty nervous until the rest of the band showed up to help me finish the fight.
For Players C and D, player A and I (mostly Player A) were working on gathering items for a quest for a really nice item. I don't have the time to play EQ that player A does, nor the resources (player A is also a member of a high level guild, with high level resources) so player A did much of the work. I did help, and managed to create/acquire a couple of the items. We finished the quests a couple of months ago. esmerel got hers as soon as we finished. Since then I've been sending reminders with the weekly treasury reports that players C and D need to collect the items and get the reward...nothing. They never mention it. They don't seem to care. It's a great item for them, I get absolutely nothing out of all the work I did, and they are too indifferent to even get the stuff to turn in for the item.
Last night, Player A interrupted our regular xp play to go off and work on Player A's epic. In EQ, the 'epic' is a weapon quest that every class has one of; some are better than others. THey are very long, involved quests and some of the encounters require 12-24 people to complete. Now, we'd discussed this on the list, briefly, and I'd said I wasn't really interested in working on epics right now; my character, being the warrior and the main tank, needs levels, as levels == hit points and damage resistance. It makes our job easier, the longer I can go between heals in a fight. It also makes it possible for us to take down monsters that hit harder, which is necessary for us to move up into the Planes of Power, where much of the group has expressed an interest in going.
Well, Player A came on last night, and we were getting ready to go hunt in the place we've been a few weeks now. He said he had a better idea. esmerel and I said we only had 5% left to get to level 52, and we really wanted that, since it was so close. He said, "Don't worry, you'll get it." So, with some grumbling, we went. He had 2 very high level guildies with us. We went and did the encounters--we really weren't necessary for this. It was 3 hours of pure boredom. We did not get our 5% xp. We did get to see a tiny bit of the Plane of Sky, to which I've never been, but that's about it. And yes, epics are important and require cooperation, but I'd already said I didn't think we should be working on epics right now. But no, we got dragged off to do this thing. My mood got increasingly worse throughout the night as it became clear that we weren't going to get any experience, and the only reason any of us was necessary at all is that esmerel is a cleric, and healing is necessary. But my 51 warrior is a toy next to the 63 warrior and 65 monk that were with us. When we were done, I just logged out. I'm pissed off that my opinion was outright ignored. I'm pissed off that he was so excited about his stupid epic that he dragged us away from advancement, which is painfully slow as it is, to do it. I'm pissed off because he is already far, far better geared out than the rest of us, because he has his high level character and his guild friends. He could easily have gotten just one more person from his guild to do the epic stuff. He didn't have to waste our time. I'm never going to get my epic, and I really don't care about his epic.
So. There it is. I'm pissed off enough that I'm considering quitting the group--which would probably basically disband it, since esmerel would not stay in it without me, and they'd have to find a warrior & cleric to replace us...which they probably would not do. I suspect player C would just quit everquest entirely, and player D mostly plays to interact with Player C.
So there you go. Part of me feels like I'm just being petty. I know I should probably just be a little bit more assertive and approach people with the problems I'm having, but some of the people in this group do not handle the assertive approach well, and I'm more than a little overbearing when I do that anyway. Oh well.
I should amend that Player B's attention has actually improved in the last few weeks, and it's not currently as big an issue as it had been in the past; it's still a bit of an issue but a much smaller one.
Do it. Reclaim part of your life. Go out to a movie. Write something. Spend time with your wife that doesn't involve both of you staring at separate computers. Stop pouring your valuable time into the 21st century's version of a dikumud.
Honestly -- if a simple KIATIS (kill it and take its stuff) game is having real negative emotional impact on you, it's already become more significant in your life than it ever deserved to be. Cut the losses, kick the habit.
Heh. This kind of social drama isn't limited to just EQ. It's not the game that's causing the problem, it's people. This kind of thing can happen in any social situation. I've seen it happen in many, many, many RP situations.
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Heh.
Date: 2003-07-08 12:01 am (UTC)Either way, the crack be with you, always.
Heh.
Date: 2003-07-08 08:39 am (UTC)Heh.
Date: 2003-07-08 08:46 am (UTC)Heh.
Date: 2003-07-08 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-08 10:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-08 01:53 pm (UTC)As to Star Wars, I have a friend in beta that really enjoyed it. However, everyone and everything else I have heard isn't encouraging. I'm still playing EQ, but think I will be quitting when EQ2 comes out. We'll see.
What happened.
Date: 2003-07-08 03:19 pm (UTC)Let me explain--and bear in mind that at least one person in the group (aside from my wife, of course) reads this journal, so I'm taking pains to try to write this objectively, but it is indelibly my subjective viewpoint.
The Monday Night Group is made up of 6 people, 3 male and 3 female who get together and play this set of characters roughly once a week (we occasionally have to skip due to real life reasons, but it's pretty regular) and have done so for more than 3 years now. I'm not entirely sure exactly how long it's been--I think we may be close to 4 years, but I don't have a good feeling for what year we started doing this anymore.
Two of those members are
Of the other four, they are now all easterly. One of them is a former housemate, who moved to the midwest, and another was local but moved to the east. I suspect the shift in timezones is part of the strain on some people.
Now then, I will go through the problems with the group that have been eating at me for some time, and I've been hoping to find ways to resolve them but I've been loathe to speak up too much about it because when I think to do it, I'm usually in a somewhat angry mood and I don't want to be any more bitchy than I already am. Which is, I realize, not effective.
I'll leave out the names of the players, tho some of them will be easily identified I suspect.
Player A and I share kind of a leadership role. Player A is well-respected, and I'm a little bit more aggressive in terms of making decisions. The two of us sometimes despair, because the rest of the group seems a little unwilling to actually express opinions (often they simply don't have opinions), generally on matters of "where should we play next week?" and "What kinds of equipment should we be buying with our loot?" (I run a 'master loot' system where I loot everything and keep track of the group's funds. Right now we're actually relatively wealthy because I've spent /nothing/ for 6 months). I'll get back to Player A later--player A is my primary gripe.
Player B is a very good player with a lot of EQ experience. Player B was a member of a high level raiding guild with other characters, and has seen a lot more of the high end of the game than I have. Player B also discovered Everquest's windowing system when it became available, and shortly thereafter I started noticing that Player B's entry into combat was starting to get delayed. Player B also has some RL distractions that might account for it--but there has been some level of frustration where player B will basically just disappear. Some combats player B won't even engage in until it's almost over. While this doesn't really cost us anything, I find myself frustrated that Player B is just standing there; it's even worse when the group has to move somewhere, and we have ot wait a couple of minutes for Player B to realize that the group is doing something. I've mentioned this a couple of times to Player B, but I admit never very directly, because I haven't felt like I have quite the moral high ground. The fact that I've not been direct about it has made me basically bite my tongue when I want to gripe about it, because I don't want to be passive aggressive. Of course, I'm doing that right now. Anyway.
What happened.
Date: 2003-07-08 03:20 pm (UTC)Player C has become uncommunicative. Player C disappeared for 3 weeks and did not even tell us; then Player C emailed the group list and was surprised that we didn't know. Player C has always had an issue with being on time, seeming to be of the feeling that since *someone* is going to be late, it is a waste of Player C's time to show up on time. This leads, IMO, to more lateness and, in fact, I don't think we have ever started on time in the last couple of years. Player C also seems to have an issue with communicating at all; recently, Player B logged in and said something over the channel. I updated the current situation (as PB was quite late) and got no response. I shrugged and went on with what we were doing. There was some question about what the group was going to do that evening; Player B decided to wait (a zone away--roughly 5 minutes worth of trip) to see what we would do, without telling us. When we had finally decided that we were not actually going to move and would adventure where we were, Player D asked if I was going to tell Player C. TUrned out player C and D had been communicating about plans in private. This irritated me to no end.
Player D is a very nice person. Player D has some real life issues that are causing Player D to be very late--a lot. We've become accustomed to it, and we know that Player D might not show. But we also know that it's an RL issue and there's nothing to be done about it, so we live with it. I hold Player D no blame, but it can be a little frustrating. Also, Player D could get lost in a 10x10 room with only 1 door. That part is more amusing than anything, but there can be bits of frustration involved when it happens at a bad time. I ended up in a fight because player D got lost, player B was idle, player C wasn't around, and player A had gone off to try to find player D and my invisibility spell wore off. It ended up ok, but had me pretty nervous until the rest of the band showed up to help me finish the fight.
For Players C and D, player A and I (mostly Player A) were working on gathering items for a quest for a really nice item. I don't have the time to play EQ that player A does, nor the resources (player A is also a member of a high level guild, with high level resources) so player A did much of the work. I did help, and managed to create/acquire a couple of the items. We finished the quests a couple of months ago.
Ok, so the real issue that has me pissed off.
What happened. (continued)
Date: 2003-07-08 03:20 pm (UTC)Well, Player A came on last night, and we were getting ready to go hunt in the place we've been a few weeks now. He said he had a better idea.
So. There it is. I'm pissed off enough that I'm considering quitting the group--which would probably basically disband it, since
So there you go. Part of me feels like I'm just being petty. I know I should probably just be a little bit more assertive and approach people with the problems I'm having, but some of the people in this group do not handle the assertive approach well, and I'm more than a little overbearing when I do that anyway. Oh well.
There it all is.
What happened. (continued)
Date: 2003-07-08 07:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 07:36 am (UTC)Honestly -- if a simple KIATIS (kill it and take its stuff) game is having real negative emotional impact on you, it's already become more significant in your life than it ever deserved to be. Cut the losses, kick the habit.
My opinion. :)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 10:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-09 10:53 am (UTC)