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Random words Generated: Goats, Divining, Medicine
kelticangel> The Story of the 5 Goats and Their Amazing Skills at Divining Medicine
kelticangel> Once upon a fine day, the five enchanted goats of a small village decided to travel. They'd kept their magic ability to speak a secret from the humans so they wouldn't be sold to travelling caravans, but now they felt the desire to know what was beyond the distant green hills.
merlin> Now, the problem with this is that they were fenced in, since they'd hidden their speaking talent by cleverly blending in with the rest of the goat herds. They would not be deterred by a mere fence, though! One of the goats was particularly bright, and he got the idea to try to confuse one of the shepherds by throwing his voice.
kelticangel> Of course, Murphy's Law states that the object you are attempting to maniuplate will become harder to manipulate in direct proportion to how badly you want that manipulation to occur. This particular shepherd happened to be of great status among the shepherds of that village, and slightly more difficult to fool than the Bright Goat had hoped.
merlin> So when the goat tried to throw his voice, the shepherd was only momentarily confused. He looked around twice, and then realized it was the goat speaking. "Heavens above!" cried the shepherd. "A talking goat!" At first he was surprised, but it took only a few moments for realization to set in. "We will all be rich!"
kelticangel> At this the goatherd spun on his heels to tell their Head Woman, leaving the younger, bewildered goatherds looking at eachother in befuddlement. Knowing time was short, the Bright Goat tried one last time, casting his voice and giving it the tone of the High Priest. "Open the gates!" cried the voice from the village.
merlin> But the goatherd was smarter than that, and he shouted out in kind, "No, don't do it! It's a trick!" And with all the shouting, the entire village came out to see what all the ruckus was about. The five goats stood where they were, shivering in fear at what would happen to them now that their plan had been so thoroughly foiled.
kelticangel> Panting with the effort of his run to, and from, the village, the goatherd-of-more-status stumbled to the forefront to stand before the goats, intent on showing the village people what he's discovered. "Our goats can talk!" he exclaimed into the relative silencce of many feet scuffling in the mud. No one moved.
merlin> The High Priest called out, after only a moment of the silence, "We must find the merchants! Surely these goats will fetch riches, and then we can get a physician to come here! Poor Timmy (why is it always Timmy?) is getting worse by the day, and we can't afford a doctor!"
kelticangel> There was a general murmur of agreement to this proposition, and two of the youngest goatherds (12 and 7) were put in charge of taking the goats to the market that very day. As it was still only mid-morning, they would have plenty of time to reach the city and still be able to return by night fall if they didn't dally.
merlin> But the goats were obstinate, and refused to move. The two boys weren't enough to make 5 stubborn goats move, even with the help of the dogs. "No-o-o-o-o, ple-e-e-e-ease, you can't sell us on the ma-a-a-a-arket! Ma-a-a-a-a-ybe we can he-e-e-elp!" The younger boy grinned. "Talking goats can always help!" But the older boy just looked dubious.
kelticangel> The younger boy looked at the bearded face of the nearest goat, innocent confidence beamed on his dirt-smeared face. "Ok! What can you guys do?" One of the younger, skittish goats started to pace nervously, suddenly afflicted with verbal diarrhea. "We haul fi-i-i-re wood, and chop tre-e-e-s, and babysit squi-i-i-rls and...." He was swiftly silenced as the hind hoof of the wise, bearded goat landed in his mouth.
merlin> The older, wiser goat knew better than the younger one. "We-e-e-e c-a-a-an h-e-e-e-lp your si-i-i-ick boy. We-e-e-e-e just ne-e-e-eed to ta-a-a-aste the ri-i-i-ight leaf!" He grinned, which unfortunately isn't as pleasant a sight as it sounds, and the younger boy took a step back from the bearded goat.
kelticangel> "The right leaf?" The younger boy looked confused. "What leaf do you need? A magic plant? What does it look like?" The strain of keeping up to talking goats was beginning to wear on him, and the added stress of maybing helping his cousin Timmy was enough to get him overly excited. "Its blue," the bearded goat replied, "and grows in the middle of the Great Plain. But that is all I know." The older boy, who'd remained indifferent in his posture until now, suddenly spoke. "Sorrow-flax," he said.
merlin> The boy continued, "It's called that because sometimes it heals but more often it kills. Nobody with any sense uses the stuff. It's just a weed, for us. The bearded goat stepped forward. "No-o-o-o, that is not quite ri-i-i-i-ight. You se-e-e-e-e, there are thre-e-e-e-e plants that all look exa-a-a-a-a-actly alike." He paused, as the boy's face lit up as he realized what the goat was about to say. "But they ta-a-a-a-aste different to go-a-a-a-ats. A-a-a-a-and it won't h-u-u-u-u-urt us. For we can eat a-a-a-a-a-nything!"
kelticangel> On the verge of exhuberance, the two boys ran off to find these mysteriously magical blue plants -- nearly forgetting to shut the gates in their excitement. As they dashed across the ridge towards the Great Plain, they noticed a whisp of smoke from a campfire, but didn't realise its significance.
merlin> The boys merrily ran out into the plain, nearly as fast as they could because they knew they had to be back before nightfall, and the plain was aptly named. They ran through grasses as tall as they were, searching for blue leaves. They finally found them by afternoon. The older boy took off his burlap tunic and tied the sleeves shut to use as a sack, and they filled it with as many leaves as they could fit. But just when they turned back toward the village, they realized they were not alone.
kelticangel> A circle of vicious Mahrins surrounded the boys, beasts who'd been cursed and banished from the Woodlands. They were a motley group, the curses they suffered from mixing species without any seeming regulation. Winged boars sat alongside equine dogs. The older boy shuddered as he noticed the head, arms and torso of a man melded onto the legs of a great cat. Each beast looked more cruel than the last, and the younger boy began to wimper with fear.
merlin> The man with cat legs took a step forward, hunger evident in his eyes. "Oh, what luck, what luck!" His voice was high-pitched and slightly squeaky, yet somehow still quite sinister and menacing. "I think these two will make enough meat for all of us! And such tender flesh, too!" The boars and dogs snarled and howled in agreement, though apparently had not been blessed (or cursed, as the case may be) with the gift of speech. Together, the group advanced on the boys, who seemed to stand rooted with terror.
kelticangel> With a lurch that terrified the younger boy and sickened the older, the man-cat picked up one under each arm and landed them on the tall back of one of the horsey-dogs. Ripping strips from the boys' clothing, he quickly tied their hands and feet -- all they could do was let themselves flop like sacks of potatoes and hope they didn't fall off. The man-cat ran easily alongside the dogs, and the boars took to the air. Within a few minutes they'd reached the campsite where a blazing fire was tended by what at first seemed like a giant snake. As the boys were dropped by the huge cast-iron pot (which had just been put on to boil), they noticed that it was a snake-woman.
merlin> The snake woman slithered toward the boys. Her hair--a twisting, writhing mass of snakes very much like the Medusa's, hissed and spat at the boys. "Ahh, a morsel of real meat, at last! It's been so long since we've eaten!" The younger boy, terrified beyond his wits, did nothing more than whimper and soil his britches. The older boy, however, thought he might know a way out. "If you please, you should cook us with these leaves here." He tried to point to the makeshift sack of blue leaves tied to the cord around his waist, but his limbs were too restrained to make much of a motion. "We were gathering them as herbs for our village festival. They say it makes the meat taste ten times better."
kelticangel> The snake-woman narrowed her serpent's eyes to a suspicious slit, and then grasped at the sack of leaves, snapping the cord that had tied it in place. "Sniffing" at the quickly with her black forked tongue, she looked up at them again. "We shall sssee, small onesss. We shall sssee." The sun travelled further along its path, getting closer and closer to the evening. The boys sat by the fire, still, the cold of the ground beginning to seep into their bones and make them stiff. The serpent-woman had added half the bag of leaves into the pot, along with a few other vegetables. The smell coming from the broth was tantelising indeed, and the older boy began to wonder whether too many of the good leaves had gotten into the pot by mistake -- afterall, no one could tell the difference. Finally it seemed to be done, and the woman slithered over to taste it before having the boys chopped and added. The older boy watched intently as her wooden spoon dipped into the pot.
merlin> The older boy had been slowly, ever-so-carefully working at his bindings. Being just burlap, the knots didn't hold nearly so well as the cat-man had apparently thought they would, and his hands had been free for several moments before the snake-lady went for the taste test. The snake-lady took a loud slurp of the stew from her spoon, and immediately wrinkled her nose. "Oh, too much, too much!" she cried. Then she shrieked: loud and piercing, truly a banshee wail, the boys thought. The younger boy shrieked in response, but the older boy was ready. He hurled himself at the cat-man, trying to get to the axe before the beast could react.
kelticangel> The serpent's body of the woman began to writhe in agony as the poison began its work. The death throes of the woman mesmerised the other beasts, and the older boy had no trouble grabbing the axe. His aim, however, was clumsy from too many hours on the ground, and his swing at the cat-man only grazed his flank and served to push him into the fire, toppling the boiling pot. The younger boy scuttled out of the way, just as the stupid dogs and boars came rushing to the spilled soup and began lapping it up. The catlike reflexes of the Mahrin man left him only singed as he lept free of the flames and stood by the still writhing snakelike body. A hissing sound emanated from the woman's throat as the poison reacted wtih her own venom.
merlin> The boy held the axe before him, nearly dwarfed by its size. He shouted curses and epithets at the Mahrin, who was circling the boy, so intent upon his prey he hardly saw his comrades thrashing about, dying from the same poison the snake-woman had, herself just perished upon. The cat man snarled and feinted forward to try to draw the axe off, but was surprised by the boy! He had been working up a good mouth-full of saliva while the cat had been circling , when the cat lunged, he spat with all his force. And his aim was true! Right in the cat's eye!
kelticangel> With all his might, the boy launched the axe towards the cat-man, wedging it deeply into the joint. The Mahrin yowled with combined frustration and pain, limping as he staggared back. By some sheer luck, the cat man tripped and sprawled across a toppled stack of firewood, his head clanging against the inside of the nearly empty pot. There were a few seconds as the Mahrin's eyes remained closed, the tip of his tail twitching, and then the daunting *drip* *drip* as the odious soup dripped into his gaping mouth. By this time they older boy had gotten the younger untied, and they began to run.
merlin> The younger boy was a mess, both physically and emotionally. He had trouble standing from the cold, so the older boy was forced to take the younger over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, and he ran through the tall grasses in the general direction of the village. But it was dark, and he was tired and frightened, and the adrenaline from the battle was wearing off. Soon he was utterly lost, not even sure which way was west.
kelticangel> The older boy sank to his knees in dispair, ready to give up. The younger one was nearly asleep, exhaustion had taken its toll. Using the very last reserves of hope, the older boy gazed about the black horizon... was that? Yes! From the distance to his left he could hear the clammour of hooves against a wooden gate, and the frantic na-a-a-a of protesting goats.
merlin> With the last of his energy, he ran to the gate and opened it. He was nearly trampled by the goats, but the wise, bearded one saw the condition of the boys and convinced the rest of the herd to stop. "You boys l-o-o-o-o-k a mess!" cried the bearded goat. But the boy just smiled. "We got diverted. But we have the leaves you wanted!" And the bearded goat was true to his word, and identified the true Sorrow-flax. Using it the high priest was able to make an ungent, and little Timmy was saved. In gratitude, the villagers agreed not to sell the goats. The goats did get to see the other side of the hills, with the help of the brave older boy...but that is, as they say, another story.
